


swallow the past and let the real thing come

by QueerWinter



Series: we never let each other go [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Blood, Fluff, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, No Smut, Nudity, Stab Wound, Stand Alone, a short moment of fantasizing, don't worry it's just there for, probably a lot of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:14:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28850406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueerWinter/pseuds/QueerWinter
Summary: Changkyun presses a hand against his abdomen, where he's been stabbed.Fuck.He holds himself up against the wall of the alley, his breath gasping. He tries to think. Where can he go?[...]Changkyun can see the precise instant that Hyungwon realizes he's hurt, because he loses all hints of playfulness. He kneels down, carefully pushing open the lapel of Changkyun's jacket. He pales when he sees the blood staining Changkyun's hand from where he was pressing it against the stab wound.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M
Series: we never let each other go [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128806
Comments: 20
Kudos: 69





	swallow the past and let the real thing come

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from lyrics of "Stand Together" <3
> 
> This fic is part of a series but was written to stand alone.
> 
> I was slightly inspired by U-Know's "Thank U" MV, which I loved and think is really cool

Changkyun presses a hand against his abdomen, where he's been stabbed. _Fuck_. He holds himself up against the wall of the alley, his breath gasping. He tries to think. Where can he go? The hospital is a big no; his boss - former boss - has agents there, he'd just get finished off in his sleep. Just like going to any colleague from Nu'bility is also out of the question, considering it's his clan that betrayed him in the first place. He can't go to his apartment either because it will be watched. And he has a few contacts, but none whose loyalties lie with him before his clan.

He's at the end of the list. Who else? Damn it, there has to be someone. Changkyun hates it, but he needs help.

Then, suddenly: _Hyungwon_. They're allies- or, well, not exactly. They're not _allies_ , but they're friendly, and they've slept together a bunch of times. Maybe it meant nothing to Hyungwon, but...

Whatever. Changkyun will take his chance. Hyungwon won't sell him out the second he sees him, right?

Mind made, Changkyun presses harder against the wound despite the way it makes his vision go dark at the corners, and he starts walking towards Fatal Love, the bar and fight club Hyungwon owns and above which he lives. 

At least he got stabbed in an alley that's within walking distance of Fatal Love; small mercies and all that.

It takes way longer than it should to get to the building, but he makes it. He stops before the entryway. Taking shallow breaths, Changkyun lets his hand, stained with blood, fall away. He hides it in his jacket pocket. The blood seeped through his pants and his shirt and his jacket, but he wears black and the light inside is dim. No one should notice. He enters through the front doors.

The ground-level floor of Fatal Love is a bar. He spots a few drinkers when he gets in, but most of the action's downstairs. Through the floor, he hears loud cheering, as well as a good amount of booing; spectators encouraging the fighter they gambled on and heckling the other. There's a bouncer at the door that leads to the basement, but he recognizes Changkyun instantly and lets him through, no entry fee needed.

Once the bouncer can't see him, Changkyun raises a brow. He didn't know Hyungwon had instructed his men to let him in. 

Now out-of-view, Changkyun presses a hand against his wound again. He makes his way to the hidden stairway that leads into Hyungwon's apartment and he starts to climb. Getting dizzy half-way up, he stumbles on one of the steps. He manages to grab the bannister at the last second, but the movement pulls at his wound and he groans in pain, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes. Tears burn against his eyelids. Just a few more steps.

He presses on. The door is locked, but a mere lock doesn't stand a chance against his past as a petty thief - even when he's so out of it.

He manages to close the door behind him and to walk to the couch, where he lets himself collapse against the cushions. He wonders if his blood will stain the leather permanently.

It's only then that he realizes that he has no way to let Hyungwon know he's there. He sighs, softly. If Hyungwon comes up here to find him dead, he'll kill him, he thinks with a painful laugh.

But his eyes are closing.

  
He wakes up when he feels the cold metal of the nuzzle of a gun against his head. "Making yourself comfortable?" Hyungwon ironizes, an edge in his voice. He sounds dangerous - and sexy, Changkyun thinks, half-delirious. _I'm not dead yet, at least_.

"Hyung," is all Changkyun manages to say before he's out of breath already. He's light-headed. He doesn't think he'll be awake for long. He feels the gun be moved away.

"Changkyun?" Hyungwon says, surprised. He hadn't recognized him before, then. He moves to stand in front of the couch, getting into Changkyun's field of vision. "Breaking into my place?" Hyungwon muses aloud, sounding mostly amused. Ill-advised to do into any criminal's house, Changkyun knows, but it's not like he could have taken the risk of club patrons recognizing him and reporting his location to his clan. Hyungwon sets his gun on the coffee table.

Then, Changkyun can see the precise instant that Hyungwon realizes he's hurt, because he loses all hints of playfulness. He kneels down, carefully pushing open the lapel of Changkyun's jacket. He pales when he sees the blood staining Changkyun's hand from where he was pressing it against the stab wound. Very, very gently, he raises Changkyun's shirt to look at the wound.

"Who did this?" Hyungwon asks, sounding carefully blank.

"My clan- ha, former clan I should say," Changkyun answers bitterly.

"How long has it been?"

"Probably a few hours? I fell unconscious for a while."

Tone scolding, Hyungwon says: "First rule when you get stabbed: keep your eyes open."

"I'll keep it in mind for next time," Changkyun ironizes, rolling his eyes, only for Hyungwon to reply: "Do not get stabbed again." His tone is curt, and there's something brittle in his voice. Wait. Is he worried?

Hyungwon reaches into his pocket for his phone, composes a number, puts it on speaker and puts the phone down to have his hands free before Changkyun can ask who he's calling.

While it rings, Hyungwon brushes strands of Changkyun's hair behind his ear and cups his cheek in his palm. Changkyun can't help but lean into it, eyes fluttering closed. "You have to stay awake now," Hyungwon requests. Changkyun nods slightly, opening his eyes again.

At the other end of the line, someone picks up. "Hello?"

"Mark-hyung," Hyungwon greets. While he talks, he gently rubs his thumb on Changkyun's cheekbone. "I need you to come to my place, I need your expertise. It's a stab wound." 

There's rustling on Mark's end of the line. "When did it happen?"

"A few hours ago."

"And you only call me now?" Mark says, exasperated.

"I'm not the one that was stabbed. I didn't know before now."

"Is the knife still in?" When Hyungwon answers with the negative, Mark says: "Ok, well, keep applying pressure on the wound and keep them awake. I'm on my way, I'll be here in twenty minutes or less." Then he hangs up.

Hyungwon puts his free hand on the wound, where Changkyun was only half-heartedly pressing now. Changkyun hisses in pain. Hyungwon shushes him apologetically and slides the hand he had on Changkyun's cheek to his nape. 

"Hyung," Changkyun says, "you want me to stay awake, right?" He looks at Hyungwon with eyes that are half-pleading, half-seductive, and grabs at his shirt to make him lean up. It takes a second for Hyungwon to get it, but when he does, something in his gaze warms.

Hyungwon kisses him, just like Changkyun wanted. It begins careful and slow as they figure out how to position themselves. Eventually, Hyungwon breaks the kiss, but only to straddle his lap - all the while making sure to keep pressing on Changkyun's wound. The pain is more of a constant buzz now, easier to ignore. Once Hyungwon's settled, he dives back down to kiss him again. It's slightly more forceful this time, tinged with desperation. "Don't die on me," Hyungwon pleads in a breath, the way he suddenly avoids his gaze indicating he didn't mean to let that piece of vulnerability slip through. 

But something in Changkyun relaxes at the realization that there's someone left that still cares for him. Someone that would mourn him if he died tonight, that would miss his presence. He might have lost his clan, but he hasn't lost everything. "Hyung," Changkyun says, and he doesn't know if he wants it to mean _thank you_ or _I feel safe with you_ or something else or everything at once. For tonight, he doesn't need to put it into words. He just tilts his head to kiss him again.

When Changkyun gets too tired to properly kiss him back, Hyungwon starts trailing kisses down his neck, half to comfort him and half to keep him awake. Changkyun clings to the back of his shirt. _Please_ , he thinks, _I want to survive tonight. I want to keep this_. Because for all that they'd been friendly before, that they'd been playful when they spent time or slept together, their kisses have never tasted of love and desperation like this. It hints that this, whatever relationship they have, might actually mean as much to Hyungwon as it does to Changkyun.

This is not something they can walk back, or pretend didn't happen. Changkyun sure as hell doesn't want to pretend it didn't happen, and from the way Hyungwon kissed him lingeringly, the way he holds him carefully, the way he hasn't faltered in pressing against his wound... well, Changkyun thinks Hyungwon doesn't want to pretend this didn't happen either.

There's a knock at the door. Hyungwon leans away to quickly yell: "Get in!" Very carefully, he moves off Changkyun's lap while maintaining his hand over the wound.

Mark - it has to be Mark - takes place in front of him, putting his bag down beside him. Retrieving scissors with a bent blade, he quickly cuts through Changkyun's shirt. "I need to look at the wound," he tells Hyungwon, who moves his hand away. It doesn't bleed when he does, which, that's a good sign, right? "While I do that, help him take off his jacket," Mark instructs, before putting on surgical gloves.

Hyungwon supports Changkyun as he leans forward and helps him pull the jacket down and off. They move slowly enough, pausing whenever Changkyun winces, that it takes a few minutes. Hyungwon then cuts his shirt at the back as well and grabs the cloth remains off him. "You got lucky," Mark says, before flustering a little when he realizes that what he said was a bit stupid. "I mean- the wound isn't too deep, and it didn't hit any organ or artery. You would have died of blood loss already if that wasms the case." Changkyun misses the way that statement makes Hyungwon tighten his hand into a fist, nails curving into his skin until they leave marks. "You won't need stitches."

They're all silent and Hyungwon watches closely as Mark meticulously cleans the wound and the skin around it before applying a bandage and fixing it with surgical tape. And then it's over.

"You're safe for now," Mark declares with a slight smile. "The bandage should be changed if it gets wet or dirty, but otherwise keep it on for twenty-four hours before applying a new one," he instructs. "I'll come back in three days for a check-up, but call me before that if there's anything unusual."

Hyungwon accompanies Mark to the door. "I'll have your payment tomorrow," he says. He's talking quietly, but Changkyun can still hear him, even if he can't see him.

Mark hums. "No need. Just give it to me at the check-up in three days."

The door opens and there's a footstep or two, and then Hyungwon, trying to sound light but missing the mark, comments: "Weren't you saying that Nu'bility were getting a bit too greedy these days?"

A pause. "You would take a position against them, after all?" Mark asks, curious. Changkyun doesn't hear an answer, but he guesses Hyungwon must have nodded or something because Mark adds: "I'll transmit the message to Jaebeom then. He'll be happy to hear it."

There's another silence. Changkyun guesses one of them might be hesitating to say something.

"Why the change of heart?" Mark finally asks. There's no answer. "Wait," Mark says, "the ones that stabbed him...?"

"Changkyunnie used to be Nu'bility. He's not anymore," is all Hyungwon says, tone sounding final.

Wait, does that mean...? Had Hyungwon been asked to take a position against Nu'bility before and, what, he hadn't because Changkyun was part of them?

"I'll keep your motivation between us," Mark says reassuringly.

The door closes as Mark finally leaves. When Hyungwon comes back into the room, Changkyun looks up at him and says: "I'm in."

"What?"

"If you're going after Nu'bility, I'm gonna help."

Hyungwon considers him. "You're fine with going against people that used to be your allies?" he asks.

"You said it; _used to_. I'm fine with taking down people that betrayed me," Changkyun replies darkly, and Hyungwon smiles.

"Alright then. We'll get to work." Then he frowns. "But now you've gotta rest."

Changkyun hums in assent. He's not actually against it. As soon as he makes a move to get up from the couch, Hyungwon rushes to help him. They walk towards the bedroom with Changkyun leaning against him. "I do wish I could shower," he sighs.

"I'll bring you a washcloth."

Hyungwon helps him lay down on the bed, where Changkyun leans against the pillows at the headboard. Then Hyungwon's hands go to Changkyun's waistband, but when he unbuttons his pants and helps him slip them off it comes off as caring instead of seductive. There's blood that dripped from the wound earlier and seeped into the fabric of his underwear too, so Hyungwon helps him take those off as well. Changkyun's thankful they're way past the point where any of them are uncomfortable with nudity.

Hyungwon disappears into the bathroom and comes back a minute later with two wet washcloths. Settling back on the bed, Hyungwon cleans Changkyun's skin where there's blood, from his knee to the inside of his thigh to the dip of his hip. He's efficient as he does it, gentle and yet clinical, but Changkyun can't help fantasizing a little anyway; he imagines grabbing Hyungwon by his nape, dragging him down to kiss him, having him take off his clothes. Feeling Hyungwon's body cover his, letting Hyungwon's hands wander until Changkyun got impatient and told him to get on with it, grabbing his wrist and pulling it down to his dick-

He interrupts his fantasy. He doesn't think either of them is really in the mood.

Changkyun's chest is already clean, as it had to be before applying the bandage, so there's only his hand left. Hyungwon takes his stained hand in his and, using the second washcloth, he cleans the blood that, by now, had dried. He's careful to rub between his fingers and under his nails, making sure there's no blood left at all.

Changkyun sucks in a breath when Hyungwon, once he's done, suddenly kisses the inside of his wrist, then his palm, then his fingers. And then Hyungwon holds Changkyun's hand against his lips and pauses, closing his eyes. He takes a deep breath, seemingly to compose himself. When he opens his eyes again, there's not exactly tears in them, but they're shining a little. Their eyes meet and Changkyun thinks he can hear the unspoken 'I'm glad you're alive'.

Hyungwon helps him put on a borrowed pair of boxers before taking off his own clothing and putting on a pair of sweatpants. "No shirt?" Changkyun says, though he's looking appreciatively.

"You always tell me you want me to wear less in bed," Hyungwon answers nonchalantly, turning off the lights. In the darkness, he joins Changkyun in bed, where they wrestle the covers from under him. Then he settles on his side and lays a very careful arm over Changkyun's chest while he burrows his face in Changkyun's neck. Hyungwon's hand settles right over his heart.

Changkyun understands in a rush and feels a lump in his throat: Hyungwon wants to make sure that if something happens during the night he'll feel it and be woken up; hence his arm over his chest to feel Changkyun's warmth against his skin; hence the hand over his heart so he'll know if the beat falters. _Ah, what did I do to deserve you_ , Changkyun thinks affectionately. He feels a kiss against his shoulder and smiles.


End file.
